Who I am!

I think hard to define the title above, it’s no theory from expert can be pictured me maybe they will say I’m a human having complete body, thought and almost can do all daily activities well. If I ask to my parents, of course they will say I’m their daughter. Friends and colleague must confess that I am one of their friends. But I have another side to see who I am.

I’m just an ordinary girl from ordinary family in ordinary world. Almost sixteen years I have been doing the same thing; going to school and campus, doing assignment, getting score every semester and I will end it next year (InsyaAllah). Taking master degree? I have to think again. When I was child, the question “what do you want to be in the future?” became so familiar. I used to lose idea to imagine what I wanna be later and my friends said that they wanna be doctor. I tried to imagine me as a doctor, but there were no picture in my brain. Yes, I didn’t want to be doctor; it was hard to see blood and injury, hated wearing doctor (white) uniform and smelled medicine. Until I went to Junior High School, I got ambition to be a teacher, maths teacher exactly because I loved maths and expert in it at the time. Why I choosed teacher? Because I loved class situation, student with different characters, meeting new students every year.Yes, I could imagine it- nice picture that still embed in my brain until now.

(Do you want to be a teacher? Yes, I do. Is it English teacher? Mm.. It can be.)

The destiny is not like my expectation. The reality is I am a student in English Education Department now. A math soul change to be a language soul. The transformation happen, can you imagine how my brain works? Twelve years (school time), I have had math brain then it change to be language brain for next and maybe rest of my life. It’s too hard for me but I won’t give up. As ordinary girl, I belive Allah has good planning for me.

I go into a new world. My classmates, most of them are expert too much in English. It's really a strange world- listening explanation in English, talking in English. I become a quite listener, how can I learn what the lecture say I can not catch up well. Every semester I just get a standard score (it's not high not low, but it's enough for a beginning leaner like me:) ).

I may look like I'm not do anything, but I'm quite busy problem-solving, being creative, or just thinking in my head with about 30 tabs open. My mouth can not translate what my brain and heart say. As long as I go campus I still be a observer- seeing how the class grow up it's make me having another knowledge that cannot see by others. Over analyzing is the type of my mind now, I'm so sensitive to interpret anything. I'm optimist with my positive mind, maybe it's not my world but this world need someone like me.

"Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes and having fun- Mary Lou Cook".

It's nice quote as booster for alive mind.

April, 15^th